"Here" being ONE MONTH OF NETFLIX HORROR VIEWED and REVIEWED. Woot.
It was touch-and-go there for a little while. There was the question about what to call the blog, and though there were many contenders, "Rock, Paper, Hatchet" got the nod by squatter's rights. You know when you slot something in thinking "I'll come back and fix it later"? That was "Rock, Paper, Hatchet"--a placeholder that just refused to give up its place. It's the manspreader of blog titles!
Oh, and it helped that "Crossing the Streams" was already taken. Wouldn't that have been perfect? But nope, crossingthestreams.blogspot.com is already an exciting Ghostbusters blog. There's no content up yet, but we expect great things. Stay-puft conspiracy theories, Venkman fanfic, the possibilities! Still, I can't help but think that this is for the best. "Rock, Paper, Hatchet" is accessible, punchy, and just right, you know? Plus, there's also no urinary innuendo.
So, we've got our blog, and we've got stuff in it. This is a win, people. Last month, we had no blog and no stuff.
And since we've watched four films this month, it is only right and natural that we name winners and losers. Here are Joe's rankings (with links to his reviews):
1) Bound to Vengeance - This revenge thriller gets off to a rough
start, muddles through on a good performance from Tina Ivlev, and hits
its stride in the last act with some decent payback. You're not bound to
hate it.
2) Last Shift - The premise seems strong, but as the
film unfolds, you realize someone thought it was a good idea to have a
rookie cop guard the police station where her father's murderers
committed suicide on the one-year anniversary of the crime.
3)
The Chosen - In The Chosen, the hero has to murder his whole family to
save his niece from the devil. With heroes like him, who needs
villains?
4) Pod - SPOILER ALERT - There is no pod. Or
acting. Or second takes. So if you want to make fun of a bad horror
movie, this is the best of the worst.
And Paul's (with links to his reviews):
1) Last Shift - The scariest of the four. Its ghostly redneck farmers know how to hoedown to the showdown.
2) Bound to Vengeance - It has its moments, but never quite clears the suspension of disbelief hurdle for me. It's sort of like listening to a drunk friend talk about their troubles when you're cold sober: it's not funny; it's not convincing; but it can be entertaining in a reckless, careening, make-it-up-as-you-go along sort of way.
3) The Chosen - Almost a comedy. Would have been better as a comedy. Or maybe as an anti-smoking commercial (anyone see these smoke-monster PSAs lately? The ones where someone lights a cigarette while being attacked by an ulcerous facehugger smoke creature? Jeesh, and I thought D.A.R.E. was blunt.)
4) Pod - The screechiest of the four. It's like having someone grind your soul with a power sander made of broken glass and rusty barbed wire.
Instant Analysis:
Only one month and we've already got disagreement. We are crossing the streams! Paul's got Last Shift in the top spot, but Joe goes with Bound to Vengeance. How will we decide which of these gets nominated for our end of year best-in-show honors? (That's something we might do, if we make it to the end of the year). How about you decide. So . . .
Vote for Last Shift or Bound to Vengeance in the comments! Winner advances! Loser must join The Chosen and Pod in the parlor of perdition to think about what they've done.
