THE SECRETS OF EMILY BLAIR (2016) [Joe's Review]

Emily Blair’s secrets are that she made out with her boss at her engagement party. And also she’s possessed by the devil.

The Secrets of Emily Blair continues the chilling exorcism movie title convention of “The (Something) of (So and So)”, which has taken on a fascinating life of its own. As far as I can tell, and after at least 16 minutes of internet research, the first “The Something of The Person/Place” movie was actually “A Haunting in Connecticut” which was a TV horror documentary that aired in 2002. 

From there, it went:

• The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)
• The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008) – Presumably NOT in Connecticut.
• The Haunting in Connecticut (2009) – It's the film of the film with almost the same name
• The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia (2013) – "These ghosts...are from Georgia!"
• The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014) – No one tries to exorcise her, and she doesn’t have any secrets, but people take her to several different places throughout the film, so why not?
• A Haunting at the Rectory (2015) – At the what?
• The Exorcism of Molly Hartley (2015) – Stay tuned for 2018’s The Taking of Molly Hartley!
• The Exorcism of Anna Ecklund (2016) – We’re definitely getting into random last name territory.
• The Secrets of Emily Blair (2016) – Which we’ll get to

Don't you wonder why there was never a movie called simply “The Exorcism”? According to imdb.com, there was going to be one in 2005, but it was never completed. One might ask what could have gone wrong, but looking at the above movies in this list, everything going wrong didn’t stop any of them from getting made so, I wonder what went right?

THE SECRETS OF EMILY BLAIR (2016) [Paul's Review]

The Secrets of Emily Blair is the latest in the exciting new trend of exorcism movies with suburban white girls’ names in the titles!  But it dares to go further than The Exorcism of Emily Rose or The Exorcism of Molly Hartley or The Curse of Molly Hartley or Molly Hartley: Exorcist Cabaret!  ‘Cause in The Secrets of Emily Blair, both first AND last names are badges of white privilege!  In the Caucasian exorcism brinkmanship game, it won’t be long until we see the likes of: “The Possession of Bree Madison’s Pony” or “Untangling Ashley Kennedy Kaitlyn:  The Yoga Pose of Deviltry.”