Eight years ago, this blog--a legitimate, for-real, no-ads, homemade-just-like-your-grandma-used-to-bake  web log, or 'blog, began a c...

  It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man, in possession of a blue trans-am, must be in want of a high school virgin to fee...

  Starting with Firestarter seems appropriate because it's right there in the title. It's not called Firelighter or Fireigniter, aft...

  Always kind of awkward when your blog goes dormant for years.  Especially awkward is that first post back.  This is that first post back. ...

In Family Blood, a mom with addiction issues becomes a vampire. Will her uncontrollable urges tear her family apart or will her vampir...

In Family Blood, a recovering addict mom meets a mildly handsome vampire at a support group.   Not answered by movie: what other m...

My favorite thing about I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House is the opening line: “ I have heard myself say that a hous...

I first watched IATPTTLITH in December 2017.   It is now halfway through 2018 and no review.   Joe and I went strong for two years, r...

In Satanic , a hapless group of Millennial friends inadvertently enters a contract with the devil to go to Hell. And Hell, it turns out,...

Hey fucktards!   Yes, I mean you, fucking goth troll dick.   Don’t be such an asshole, megabitch.   God, you’re such a prick, cumball....

The Axe Murders of Villisca is a very high-school horror movie. Nothing makes sense, everyone is upset, people are themselves one minu...

I watched “The Axe Murders of Villisca” with my Gay Friend.   Many of my friends are gay, but only one specifically requested, n...

Havenhurst seems like the nicest halfway house ever. But ***SPOILER ALERT*** it’s really one of the meanest!

Here’s the offer.   You can live, rent-free, in a pristine, old-money, New York apartment with tall ceilings, wainscoting up to here,...

It's been real nice conversing like this round the fire.  But now the moon is high, and the bats are flying.  I'd say its 'bout...