Sunday, January 3, 2016

Postmortem Q&A: Pod (2015)

Our weekly Q&A session, this time on Pod.  Missed the reviews?  Read them first!

Paul's Questions/Joe's Answers
PH:  Ed’s license plates are from Florida and the stranger’s plates are from California.  Did they both decide to drive to Maine?  If so, which left their house first?  Using math, compute how long it would take for the secret government murder agent to get pissed at his bosses for making him drive.

JD:  Our readers might think it’s amazing that you noticed the license plates in this film, but I understand. While all this bullshit is going on, you’re actively looking for things to be interested in. Hey, license plates!

PH:  How close to the colony were they, really?

JD:  Dude, what if the colony was back in California! And the stranger had driven all that way! HA!

PH: When we first meet Lyla, she’s lounging in bed naked.  Discuss the weirdness of that scene. 

JD:  What’s impressive to me is that she’s still in post-coital afterglow, and her boyfriend is dressed and out the door. That is a super-fast departure. He must have been getting dressed while still fucking her.

PH:   Which takes longer, Ed trying to figure out a circuit breaker or Ed trying to beat the monster to death?

JD:  Definitely beating the monster to death. Also, that was after he emptied a syringe full of sedative into its eye, right? And then didn’t he weakly try hitting it with the empty syringe? Did that really happen? Also, the point of the monster is that it’s like a terrorist attack that leaves no survivors and no trace. But, it gets killed by a hipster, and then an agent has to come shoot everybody with a handgun. It’s like raaaaaain.

PH:  Almost forgot!  Were those the fastest opening credits you have ever seen?  Do you think that was out of embarrassment or just unbridled enthusiasm to get to the exciting talking scenes?

JD:  They were super fast! I think it’s because no one wanted anyone to see that they’d worked on this film and they knew you wouldn’t make it to the closing credits.

Also, this is largely the creation of Mickey Keating, who wrote, directed, and produced it. I googled him, and he looks about 20. Also, according to the wikipedia page for Pod:  “The title is a reference to Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but Keating wanted to use it partially as misdirection, as he wanted to play with audience expectations based on the title.”

Ho ho! So because you titled the movie "Pod," you knew people would expect there to be a pod in it, and there wasn’t one! How playful.

Joe's Questions/Paul's Answers
JD:  So, Paul, what did the crazy brother’s hair look like to you?

PH:  At first, I was thinking Miley Cyrus, but now I'm more on the Adam Duritz/Beaker train.  In any case, I guess the idea was that he was CRAZY because he cuts his own hair.  Come to think of it, doesn't he cut the rest of it off later in the film?  It's like he was already trying to get over this role before the film actually ended.

JD:  Did he haul the pod back to his house? Or did he beat up and drag the critter back? How did that go?

PH:  What pod?!  Joe, I'm worried about you.  There is no pod.  Have you seen Dr. Nick lately?  He's really good--you can tell because he only uses his first name, like Dr. Phil or Dr. Pepper.  (Pepper is a first name, right?  Like for a girl?  Did you know Dr. Pepper was female?)

JD:  How do you think they auditioned the sister? How did she win that?

PH:  I'm guessing she threw a tantrum and everyone was like rolling their eyes and thinking "whatever" because she has hipster bangs and of course she's going to get cast opposite the guy with the hipster moustache/burns combo. 

JD:  What the fuck is wrong with this movie?

PH:  A deep question.  This is the kind of movie that makes you really reassess the meaning of your life.  To explain what's wrong with it, you first have to wonder whether there is something wrong with you. Only then can you . . . ah, screw it.  This movie is like getting a root canal on the wrong tooth.  It sucks from start to finish and afterwards you can't even say that it has made you any better.

JD:  On the page for this film, the writers are listed as “Mickey Keating, Mickey Keating”. Why do you think that is?

PH:  Hmmm.  Mickey Keating, Director, would make sense.  But "Mickey Keating, Mickey Keating" suggests that his job is being Mickey Keating, as if he's only playing himself.  It's one of those brainfuck meta things, where you can't really complain about the directing because it's a piece of avant-garde performance art--Mickey Keating would never direct something this awful.  But "Mickey Keating" sure would.

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